


Birds and the Bees (and a thing called Love)

by orphan_account



Series: Little House In The Suburbs [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 02:10:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9152926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Becca starts to ask the hard questions.





	

“A frog walks into a bank to ask for a loan,” Bucky says early one Saturday morning. He's in his kitchen with Steve, cooking up some eggs for breakfast. Becca’s still asleep and there's a blackbird on the lawn struggling with a worm too big for it's beak. 

 

“Of course it does,” Steve says, grabbing the salt and pepper off the windowsill. 

 

“He's a bit nervous- bank tellers don't seem to take him seriously, you know?” Bucky continues. Steve nods solemnly. 

 

“No, of course.” 

 

“He has his best suit on, with a little blue tie covered in lilypads. It's actually quite cute. He got it specially made for him by a frog tailor,” Bucky says. 

 

“Right. So he walks into the bank?” Steve prompts, wanting Bucky to continue. 

 

“So the frog walks into the bank, and there's a decent queue, so he lines up patiently. He's jittery, but he keeps thinking of that beautiful log at the pond, and he knows it's exactly where he wants to live, so he stays focused on the task.”

 

“Good on him,” Steve says. He bumps Bucky out of the way so he can cook the eggs. Bucky puts the coffee on and turns back to face his boyfriend. 

 

“Eventually, our little frog makes it to the front of the line. He wants to make a good impression so he reads his teller’s nametag and greets her by name. 

 

“ _ Mrs Rack _ , he greets with a smile, because her name is Patricia Rack.  _ I would like to take out a loan _ , he says.”

 

“If he wanted to be polite,” Steve interrupts with a cheeky grin, “He wouldn't have just assumed she was married. That could've gone so wrong for him.”

 

“Steve,” Bucky says. “It's a joke, don't take it so seriously.”

 

Steve laughs at that, filling the kitchen with the sound of it. Bucky grins in response.

 

“Mrs Rack, however, hates frogs. She scowls down her nose at him and asks for his name and ID.  _ Very well,  _ the frog says, pulling out his driver's licence,  _ My name is Kermit Jagger, son of Mic Jagger _ . Mrs Rack doesn't believe him- why would she? Frogs are very good liers. 

 

“ _ I'm not giving you the money _ , Mrs Rack says, because just from his name she can tell Kermit is a fraud.”

 

“Judgemental,” Steve scoffs. The eggs are almost done. 

 

“Yeah, well, Kermit doesn't like that. So he asks to speak to her manager-”

 

“-Ooh, bringing out the big guns-”

 

“-And so Mrs Rack tells Kermit to wait where he is. Kermit waits, and waits, and waits. And eventually, Mrs Rack returns with her manager. 

 

“ _ Ah, Mr Jagger! How wonderful it is to see you! _ , the branch manager says when he sees Kermit waiting in his little frog suit with the lilypad tie. You see, this manager went to school with Kermit’s mother. He quite likes frogs.”

 

“Good for him,” Steve says. 

 

“And even better for Kermit,” Bucky adds as he pulls the plates out of the cupboards. “ _ I don't understand what the problem is, Patty,  _ the manager says.  _ Provided Kermit can give us collateral, he can get his money.  _ This annoys Mrs Rack, because all she wanted was to send this frog on its way, but here she is, humouring the damn thing.”

 

“She should get fired on the basis of discrimination.”

 

“Steve, it's a joke, not a political statement,” Bucky sighs, setting the table. 

 

“Whatever,” Steve grumbles as he dishes out their breakfast. 

 

“ _ Come back tomorrow, _ Mrs Rack says to Kermit.  _ Bring collateral for a deposit and we'll discuss the money in more detail.  _ Oh, Kermit is so happy! He's got a chance at getting the money and buying his dream home! What a wonderful day!” Bucky exclaims, mostly with his hands. Steve gives him an unamused look from across the table- the one that means he thinks he looks unamused, but really looks overly fond. Bucky’s heart flutters in his chest. 

 

“So Kermit runs home- hops home, sorry. He hops home as fast as he can without getting a speeding ticket, and he digs through his drawers. He knows it's in there somewhere, he knows it. He has the perfect collateral to provide the bank with, he knows this log will be his!” 

 

“Eat your eggs before they get cold,” Steve laughs. “Then finish the joke.” 

 

“I am eating my eggs,” Bucky whines. He is. He can multitask. “Kermit goes back to the bank the next day. He has his suit on, this time with a little red tie, covered in smiley yellow suns.”

 

“How adorable,” Steve deadpans. 

 

“Let me tell the joke! So Kermit has his sunny tie and in his pocket he has his deposit. The line isn't as big as it was yesterday, and before he knows it, he's at the front! Unfortunately, Mrs Rack is there again. She scowls at him.”

 

“Why is she so against frogs? Does she have a tragic backstory?” Steve asks. Bucky shakes his head, mouth too full to reply. 

 

“She's just old and cynical,” Bucky says once his mouth is empty again. “Kermit won't be put off however. He says to her  _ I have my collateral,  _ and with a big toothy grin-”

 

“Frogs don't have teeth, Buck.”

 

“With a big toothy grin he pulls a small mosaic elephant from his pocket. It fits in the palm of his hand, and it's a bright pink colour. It's bedazzled, covered trunk to toe in shiny gems, sparkling like a million diamonds in the sky, up above the world so high.  _ It's from Thailand _ , Kermit tells Mrs Rack when she doesn't say anything.  _ My father got it from his father, and he from his. It's very valuable. _ Mrs Rack is doubtful, so she calls her manager back.”

 

Bucky stops, because this is where the joke ends. He needs to watch Steve's reaction. Steve doesn't notice, just rises to clear the plates. 

 

“ _ Kermit is back,  _ she tells him,  _ and he has a weird little elephant. Can you take a look at it?  _ And the manager, well, he is eager to see Kermit again, so he follows her back to the desk where Kermit waits patiently, hands neatly folded over themselves with the little elephant next to them. The bank manager picks it up carefully, examining it with such focus. Mrs Rack frowns and asks,  _ What is it?”  _

 

And this time when Bucky pauses, Steve stops filling the sink with water and looks at him. 

 

“The bank manager grins and says,  _ It's a knick-knack, Patty Rack. Give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone.” _

 

Steve barks a laugh, and his eyes widen with surprise as if the laughter betrayed him. 

 

“It took you all morning to tell me that joke, and  _ that  _ was the punchline?” He gasps, hand warm on Buckys shoulder. Bucky grins and leans into him. 

 

“Ain't it great?” He asks. Steve shakes his head, but he's still laughing. 

 

“No! It's the worst joke I've ever heard, and I work with children. I've heard some pretty shitty jokes in my time.”

 

“Aw, don't hate on the joke,” Bucky grins. 

 

“God, that was awful. You're lucky I love you,” Steve laughs, leaning in to kiss Bucky. 

 

“You love me?” Bucky asks against Steve’s lips. Steve's warm under his fingertips, hand over his heart, chest thrumming with energy.

 

“I love you,” Steve repeats, smiling into Bucky’s mouth. “Rubbish jokes and all.”

 

“I love you too,” Bucky says, soaring above the world. 

 

“Good,” Steve says smugly, and Bucky pulls back to flick him with the teatowel. 

 

“Did I miss breakfast?” Becca asks, appearing in the doorway, rubbing her eyes.

 

“Nah,” Bucky laughs, crossing the room to scoop her up in a fireman’s carry. She squeals in protest but doesn't ask to be put down. “Steve’ll make you some eggs. Scramble” 

 

“Yes please Steve!” Becca giggles, fingers digging into Bucky’s hips. 

 

Standing here in his kitchen with Becca in his arms and Steve at his side, Bucky feels happy.

  
  


\---

  
  
  


Bucky’s not sure what wakes him. Steve shifts next to him, mumbling something intelligible in his sleep as he curls into Bucky’s side. It's dark in the room, but not quite as dark as the alarm clock across the room suggests it ought to be. 

 

“Becca?” Bucky croaks, shifting onto his elbows. She's at his door, watching. 

 

“I didn't mean to wake you,” she says, voice soft. Bucky pushes Steve over, shuffling after him so Becca can crawl in on his side. 

 

“Can't sleep?” He asks, patting the space next to him. Becca shakes her head but doesn't come closer. 

 

“It's not that,” she says. “Can I ask you something?”

 

“Always,” Bucky tells her, swinging her feet off the side of his bed and standing up when it becomes apparent she doesn't want to join him. 

 

“It's kinda about Steve,” she whispers, glancing at Bucky’s boyfriend. She doesn't look upset- maybe uncertain, but not upset. Bucky’s not worried. 

 

“Let's go to your room,” Bucky suggests. He follows Becca back and tucks her in, sitting down next to her. He runs his fingers through her hair. She still likes it short. 

 

“Are you and Steve going to have a baby?” Becca asks. Bucky freezes and looks down at her. 

 

He's not ready for this. Becca’s nine- Bucky’s not even sure  _ she's  _ ready for this. 

 

“Steve and I are not going to have a baby,” he tells her. “Why do you ask?”

 

“Mrs Firch is having a baby,” she says. “Mrs Firch said that when parents love each other and do kissig and sleep in the same bed that when they're ready for a baby they will have one.”

 

“Um,” Bucky says, stalling. 

 

“You and Steve love each other, you said so this morning. And you kissed. And now you're sleeping in the same bed,” Becca says.

 

“If we were thinking about being parents together, we'd definitely include you in the conversation, baby. We don't even live together- which parents don't have to do, but I think if I had a kid I'd want to live with my partner. But I've got you, Becca. I don't want another kid. Not at the moment,” Bucky says, hoping he's explaining it well enough.

 

“She said it can happen without planning sometimes, but that doesn't mean the baby will be any less loved,” Becca says. 

 

Jesus.

 

“Steve and I can't accidentally have a baby, sweetheart. Neither of us can get pregnant.”

 

“Why not, though?” Becca asks with a small frown. “I know that it's because of different private parts, but why?” 

 

Bucky’s not ready for this. 

 

But it's not about him. Becca asked, which means it's crossed her mind enough for her to question it, which means she's ready for the answer. 

 

“Women,” Bucky says, they can go more into the gender binary next time, “have a thing called a uterus. It's under their tummy a wee bit, and that's where the baby grows.”

 

“Do I have one?” Becca asks. “I'm just a kid. When will I get mine?”

 

“You have one already,” Bucky tells her. “It's- asleep, at the moment. It wakes up when you're about twelve, but maybe before or maybe after. That time is called puberty.”

 

“I know that word!” Becca exclaims quietly, eyes glowing with excitement. “What does it mean?”

 

“I'll get you a book,” Bucky suggests. “There are books by professionals about this sort of thing. We can read it together, and talk it over, okay?” 

 

“Why can't you tell me now?” She pouts, bottom lip sticking out stubbornly. Bucky laughs. 

 

“There's a lot to cover. Just know that Steve and I won't have a baby, okay?” 

 

“Okay,” Becca whispers. Bucky smoothes back her hair and kisses her forehead. 

 

“Think you can sleep?” He asks. Becca hesitates, doesn't reply. 

 

“Wanna come into my bed?” He offers. She nods sheepishly and follows him back to his room. 

 

In bed, Steve clings to Bucky’s back in his sleep. Becca crawls in on Bucky’s other side, and Bucky falls asleep just like that: tucked between his two favourite people in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> If there's anything you want to see, drop in and visit me on [tumblr](http://wonderfullywandering-alone.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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